I've been struggling with my boyfriend's loss of boner, or being able to communicate with me, and I've done my best not to take it personally. He has said it's due to the hormones and his age but I'm beginning think it's due to the lack of interest he has for my body kind of physique (I am petite and not the most well-endowed).
A few months ago, I discovered a message on his phone which reads "Why do I turn off whenever my girlfriend wishes to have a sex session together" and was deeply hurt. I've got an edge over him and he makes me feel guilty about it occasionally. I didn't even mention it with him. However, I discovered pornhub searches of women who aren't like me.
The week before we attempted to get sex during the day, and the boy lost his boner. This happened twice in that week. I inquired about it, to see if it was something that I had done - or if there was something I could do, and I was told it was nothing. I'm not trying to poke or force him to do anything and so I just dismissed it and assured him that it wasn't a problem.
Tonight I was looking up something on his laptop and stumbled across a searches for porn that is not like me (well equipped women) with a specific hairstyle and has nothing in common with me. I normally am not averse to watching my partner's porn, but this one seemed off since there were certain information and I began to feel self-conscious.
What was more disturbing is the timing - he watched it an hour later in the next morning, he lost his boner along with me.
I've tried everything to make him feel embarrassed since I am aware that this can happen occasionally however, I am starting to feel self-conscious and feel like he's not interested in me.
Should I not be worried by it? Is there nothing to worry about?
